Journaling as a form of self-care
Comparing yourself to …you.
Not many things will teach you as much about yourself as journaling. Most of the insights I find through journaling are about my own thoughts and beliefs. An interesting subject, isn’t it? This is why I think investing time in journaling as a form of self-care is worth it.
In my last post, I told you about my journey to awareness about my lack of control over my life and why that is so. As you know, I got a beautiful journal from my sister and since then I’ve started journaling.
Here, let me show you how I journal:
Do I let too many people have opinions about my life and then quote their voices as my own? I was told today that, during conversations, I often quote friends’ views on my own problems. As if my own opinion isn't enough, I need some other person to agree with me. On matters and problems in MY life?! I disagreed at first, saying I just wanted to name the people who said these interesting things (that I agree with) and not steal their words. As a form of humbleness.
But if I do it so often, and I actually use words like ‘like Sarah and Valerie also said, I think I am a multipassionate’. Those are actually my own findings, which I then put in other people's mouths, while I was the one talking to them about it, and they were agreeing with me. Hold up?! Don’t I find my own opinion important? I will think more about this strange habit of mine. Now it’s time for lunch, I’m starving!
Update: my Spanish still sucks. It seems like I can’t get past the basic level! At least I have one thing going for me, which is that Uber drivers tell me my pronunciation is excellent. How grateful I am for my Flemish mother tongue, which is said to be the perfect language to pronounce other languages. Okay, let me get back to my point.
I think my opinion and views weren’t considered important when I was a child. My mom just dominantly spewed her opinion like it was the truth and my dad didn’t show us that this was something to be rebelling against and followed her without question. My parents never considered asking our opinions about things. I learned very early that other people’s views overpowered my own, even if those views were about me. This pattern has led me to still use others to back me up in my own life story. This is not something I want to continue doing. What shall I do about it?
Let me start by noticing how often I quote others. No more hiding behind others! People are in a conversation with you, not with one of your interesting friends. You. So speak your truth, Edith. Let yourself be heard.
See how I asked myself an interesting question and just let my pen and thoughts lead the way? That’s what journaling is. You just pick a thing that is on your mind or that takes up space, and you go from there. Even if you get distracted and go off-topic, that doesn’t matter! You just let go of the words and thoughts in your head and put them in writing to come back to them later.
Cultivating journaling as a habit
Truthfully, it is not an easy habit to get into. But just like all great things take time, this habit is well worth cultivating! I have started this year with a lot of new habits, and in retrospect, that wasn't a good idea. One thing I will prioritize now is journaling. It is important to give my thoughts attention if I want to change my self-sabotaging habits.
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. — James Baldwin
If I hadn’t written down what was said to me about quoting others, I probably wouldn’t have come to the conclusion about my childhood. Just writing it down, makes it more visible and more accessible to come back to. Our minds are often so full! The interesting thought processes and gems of ideas that play in our minds on a daily basis are too much to keep up with.
Ideas of what to write about:
- Prompts: Prompts are half-sentences that you copy and then fill in.
E.g. Today I was proud of myself when…
On the internet I found so many prompts to write about, it was overwhelming! But it really is helpful if you don’t know what to write about. I can give you some good websites with templates if you want, just comment below. - Brain dumps: When you feel totally overwhelmed, or you just feel like you need to put order to your thoughts, this is a good way to do it! Just set a timer to 5 or 10 minutes and… write. The only rule is: keep writing until the timer goes off!
In the beginning, it would feel weird, and I wrote things like: “I don’t know what else to write, but I have to keep writing, so that’s what I’m doing. Oh yeah, I need to call my aunt. It’s been such a long time.”
Now, when the timer goes, I feel like time flew by and my head feels much lighter. So it has an immediate result!
When you come back to a brain dump later and scan through, you’ll definitely find a to-do-list or some food for thought. - Writing letters to people: Sometimes you just want to tell people something, and you don’t have the guts to tell them (yet). Or you have this person in your life that just makes you open up about tough things. By writing to them in your journal, you might come to interesting conclusions.
- Letter to your future- or past-self: Writing to your future- of past-self is an enlightening experience. After I wrote a tough letter to my (now ex-)boyfriend, I wrote two letters to myself in my journal. The first one I could read if his answer was positive, the other one was meant to be read if his answer was negative. Writing them was helpful, rereading them afterward even more!
My journal, my thought in my own words
Giving yourself permission to think freely and write it down is a beautiful way of saying: I hear you. That’s why I have grown to love journaling. It is like saying to your thoughts and ideas: “You are worth it. I am giving you attention. I am writing you down because you are valid.”
I will continue my journal-journey and if you have any tips and tricks, please comment below. In the future, I’ll definitely share more insights with you, cause there is so much to discover about yourself. Once you start, a new world unfolds before your pen/eyes. Thanks for your time and ‘till next time, accountability partners!
How great it would be — when I read this journal again at the same time next year — if I can smile at what I wrote and think: How I have grown and changed for the better.
